a big fail

I'm putting it on the record...after 6 months of trying, I have failed at potty training the girls. When the girls are 13 and I'm dealing with teenage girl issues, I want to come back to this and laugh at myself for thinking this was the end of the world.

But, I'm losing my freaking mind. I feel like I have tried everything. I feel like I've read and used all possible suggestions out there. My only conclusion is that they are not ready.

But how can that be? When I go through the "checklist" of "is your toddler ready?", I answer yes to everything. Well actually, I don't think I can say that they have ever had a dry diaper for more than an hour. But if they are ready and willing, then how come that doesn't fall into place? Is there something physically wrong? 

Little Bird did really well for a really long time, having only 1 accident a day, but now she has given up. I can't motivate her with anything. She will use the potty, but still have 4 or 5 accidents a day. Not just little accidents, but change the undies and pants accidents. Sometimes she'll refuse to go on the toilet when I ask her and then 20 minutes later when I ask her again, she is soaked. On the bright side, she does tell me when she has to poop.

Little Pie was doing well with the potty, but still not pooping in it. I thought that was fine, thinking it would come soon, but now she is constantly peeing in her undies and never in the toilet. She poops in her undies 3+ times a day. I can't begin to express how frustrated I am with cleaning up those messes.

I think I'm so frustrated because I feel like the girls get what they are supposed to do. They always say, "I'm supposed to tell Mommy or Daddy when I have to go pee", but they never do it. They say, "when I'm dry all day, then I can play Candy Land/wear princess crown/eat candy corn/etc." but they are never dry all day and they don't care when they don't get to do those things.

Sticker charts don't work, new undies don't work, picking out your own undies doesn't work, reading  potty books doesn't work, telling them we can play Candy Land or Chutes and Ladders doesn't work, talking about it doesn't work, telling them they can't play downstairs doesn't work, not letting them sit on the couch doesn't work, changing them out of their favorite pretty dress doesn't work, pretending to cry because I'm so sad doesn't work.

I even jokingly said today that we were going to have to take money out of their banks to pay for all the pull-ups and Little Bird excitedly ran to her room to get hers. Ugh! You are supposed to not like that idea!!

So my conclusion is that they either have a physical problem in that they cannot hold the urine or they are somehow trying to control the situation. 

If it's a control thing, then it's off to the parenting section of the bookstore I go!